sun 06 dec 1998 23:00:00 — boston ma
no shoot today
a sunny day. no shoot today just a location scout. so we slept late.
walking around with soiled kleenexes and cigarette butts in my coat pockets. a pal scarf, a black hood i can wear when it's cold outside. touches. she wants to hold my hand in the car. she loves me. she says so too. went to something last night i think it was called the hill pub, talked a lot, at one point i remember saying the miracle was how with all those atomic bombs we still haven't annihilated each other, she also giving arguments in favor of cooperative society, and how an excess of law weakens the moral character of a people, we coming to some kind of philosophical confluence there, and she threw her arms around me (i almost just wrote "threw her arse around me," she's able to do that too) and snuggled real tight, and i went to put my arms around her, and with my blind left hand knocked over her vodka tonic right onto her butt. that plus me having a dreadful cold and godawful coughing fits and snoring (she snores too) haven't put her off me yet, that's pretty amazing. so we left there to rent a movie at the video store, then get beer and pizza and spend the evening at her apartment. we saw lots of cassette boxes for movies we both wanted to see, each recommending to the other, and a dog came in with somebody and ran around chasing a friend of the owner. and we got "wings of desire," then went to the beer store and got some heineken and some marlboro lights. and went to the pizza joint next to the fire station, and got a large pepperoni pizza, that took about ten or fifteen minutes to get. then we walked to her place, up the hill, up the stairs. she said, "can we fool around after the movie?" how natural it now seems for her to fold herself up against me, how miraculous too. but at some point bruno ganz murmuring "als das kind kind war" just got too lullabye-like and we started nodding off. i had got up at 4am for a predawn second unit shot, so i was dead tired. she fell asleep on top of me on the couch [...]
we woke up again around ten, aj made coffee with a little cinnamon in it, and we sat there on the stools in her kitchen the way we sometimes do in the morning, just drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and looking out kitchen windows into the brick alleyways between the backs of the buildings. [...]
i think it's pretty amazing to be in love like this. i felt really alive today, like i wanted to be alive. the light was nice. i was happy. i looked at the city as we were crossing back over the salt and pepper, and i just smiled out of nowhere, at nobody, just smiled at the city.