sat 22 jun 2002 12:00:00 — allston, ma
dream parking, violence, cat
weird dream this morning, just woke up. i drive my car at night up a parking ramp when i see the arrow on the pavement pointing at me and realize (almost at the gate at the top) that i'm going the wrong way and can't get in that way. kinda spooky futuristic, almost swiss or germanic place. i turn my car around 180 degrees very easily. almost like i pick it up like a shopping cart and flip it around. this does not seem remarkable. my spouse is in the car (it's not quite d, starts out kinda like her but becomes someone intermediate, more like harrison ford's wife in that parisian kidnapping drama) and she doesn't want to wait while i drive back down and look for the right ramp, so she gets out and we agree to meet wherever we're going. slight sense of foreboding as i see her walking past two official men. maybe she turns 180 degrees too, because then she's walking ahead of them, toward under the parking building, where the highway passes under the building. i'm going the other way but i see them accost her right beside the highway. maybe like in my rear view mirror. but then i'm not in the car any more. i'm running to help her.
for some reason as i arrive the two men are like beating her, almost like they're going to rape her. i try to intervene by shoving at least one man toward the road. there is a cat here too, a whitish cat. they are torturing the cat too. what they are explaining to me, and to her, is that even if i managed to thrust both of these officials off into the onrushing traffic, they would still win because we would go to jail. there's a permanent difference between us because they belong to the rulers and we belong to the subjects. not in so many words. there is a sense of laughing injustice. i think maybe i am physically struggling with these guys and losing. i hear my wife start laughing like she's lost her mind, the injustice has made her crazy. she's saying it's the cat's fault, it's the attack cat. blame the cat. now the two officials leave us alone, and i see the cat, maybe i go to help the cat, and it's a white cat, with curiously pink gums and teeth and eyes, and it seems fine, but it is also crazy. crazy faraway look in its eye. i think the cat and the wife have merged into one creature? cuz i only see the cat, i don't see my wife.
there's a later part, which i can't remember. it's something about a cockroach used as a reference. measurement? like i haven't got a cockroach's length of something. a cockroach inch? or the thought is that i have food, but i don't have enough cockroaches to eat it. something else has gone on, which makes me feel soothed about what happened before, but i can't place it. i tried to re-dream it as i was waking up, and i could access the meaning-complex in the dream state but couldn't bring it back here with me. sorry.
awoke knowing it was one of those weird dreams i really needed to write down. doesn't make sense yet.