thu 30 apr 2009 22:20:49 — witte de withstraat
dreams of being lost
sometime yesterday i had a dream in which i urgently needed to get somewhere at night in a car, but i couldn't see the road i was driving on. at first i thought it was because the windshield was fogged, but when the fog cleared i was still too small to see over the dashboard. so i was lost, and unable to go where i needed to go.
today, i dreamed that i had taken a job at some sort of mini-mart in beverly massachusetts. it was now nighttime and i'd had a few beers somewhere out, and as i walked home, i realized i could not find my way. not only because i was tipsy and unfamiliar with the area, but because i could not even remember my new address. through some foolhardiness i had found a job in a new town and moved into a new flat, without taking note of where i lived. i felt stupid. lost in the night i climbed the fascinating high hills and stone walled residential terraces of beverly (of which in reality there are none), then looked back down over the vista of the faintly gleaming town, knowing i had gone the wrong way and wasn't making any progress. i was carrying with me something in a plastic shopping bag. i don't know what it was. i was surprised that i was even able to climb such hills without getting winded.
it's strange that i'm dreaming of being lost particularly at a moment when i don't feel very lost at all. i have felt much more lost in the recent past, but without dreaming of it. so i guess my dream mind is feeling something different from what i'm feeling out here in the neocortical zone.
i'm thinking maybe it has to do with yesterday's "launch" of edition 001 of mentalshoes.com, the new square magazine about footwear and the life of mind. it could be that emotionally i'm driving a car that's way too big for me, and that i don't even know where i live with respect to my new mini-mart gig. yeah that must be it.