wed 21 apr 1993 01:00:00 — salem, ma
forms of things
this whole thing about one thing being a form of something which has another form relates directly to what i was saying to hanzl about our illusory perception of the spiritual world and the physical world as being disparate and distinct, where i really believe this apparent separateness is merely a figment of our perceptual apparat.
the irony here is that at the same time i believe in unity, i can steadfastly proclaim that i have never seen any irrefutable proof that any two people i know are continuously living in the same universe.
this one will take another lifetime to figure out. it's one thing to assert a per-moment unity between the supposed material and physical worlds, and quite another to try and account for the disparity between one person's reality and that of another — were this not the case we would not be plagued with courts of "law."
maybe humanness begins precisely with that loss of unity, where we begin to believe that the physical and spiritual worlds are disparate, where we begin to believe that only one of our memories can really be correct. and maybe it is precisely this first branching which accounts for the (perhaps necessary) fall from grace, which explains the parochial nature of our usual alliances and truth-formings, and which in fact makes room for things like nationalism and — of all things — jahweh!
jahweh is the worst excuse for a god i have ever heard of.
but he was necessary (at least according to my evolutionary-minded and rather more charitable broer) in order for us to be ready for the next step. and remember the purpose of scripture is so that the steps will not be lost on those who are trying to see what the vector is. where are we going? where have we been?
if that's what it's all about, then what is the next step that is about to happen next? and where will i be when the lights go out? paula seems to think i will be there.
i am a little frightened because i know there is a surprise coming. it's about time for some experience to come along and bowl me over with the realization that i didn't have it all figured out. i am afraid because i seem to have figured it out up to a certain membrane, and i must puncture that skin to reveal the next thing, maybe that mystery i was talking about before, in that memo i wrote in the fall. there is an immanent realization, and that is why i am seeing holes in brick walls and supplementing my own imaginary wrecking ball. what is about to happen?